By: Lilease Waldron
My mom wasn’t expecting kids when she got pregnant, nor did she ever want any growing up. I feel the same way at 19 years old, and my mom makes sure to remind me every day that I will change my mind like she once did, after she had me and my sister. I’m not so sure I will.
Yet, I can admit I’ve always wanted to know more about her thoughts on parenthood and how they’ve changed over time, along with further adult advice she may be able to bestow upon me. I’m especially curious about this subject since, in the plainest sense, she used to never want me in the first place.
My mom, Shanna Sakrisson, has always had a rough dynamic with her parents. She touched on this briefly, then reiterated throughout our time talking that the bare minimum for her in becoming a parent was to be better than her own.
“There’s no handbook you’re given when you have a child, all you can go by is how you were parented and how that went,” she explained. “I didn’t want it to go the same, I wanted you to have more, to have a parent that’s plugged in all the time.”
There was a lot of nervousness that came about both of my mom's pregnancies, yet her worry essentially dissipated after seeing my sister, Olivia, for the first time. This same feeling of pure happiness was repeated 22 months later, on the day of my birth.
“Just an instant ‘I’m a mom now’... It was just pure overwhelming joy. No matter what I wanted beforehand, this was it, and I couldn’t have been happier,” she recalled.
With this newfound overwhelming joy came responsibility, no doubt, but it luckily resulted in constant learning experiences. She explains she could’ve been more patient, approachable, and less restrictive with her parenting in previous years, but she did it all with our success in mind.
“It’s humbling. It went fast, and there were a lot of things that I could’ve done differently, but all in all, I think being a parent made me a more well-rounded person,” she explains. “It taught me unconditional love, and I believe you don’t really fully understand what that means or feels like until you become a parent.”
Our conversation may have prompted newfound feelings about parenthood, but it was mostly enlightening and informative, and I appreciate any and all time I get to spend with her. My mom is the wisest person I know.
“I’m not saying being a parent is for everyone, but it definitely changed my life for the better. I’m a better human because of it,” she finalized. I suppose I’ll have to take her word for it, at least for the time being. I can admit I’m certainly grateful for her change of heart.
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